Therapy Sucks For Everyone
by golden perfection
Summary: Nico, Thalia, Annabeth, Percy and Grover have been commiting crimes and attacking Luke was one of them. When the police come and break up the fight,they send them to therapy for insanity. Turns out therapy sucks,for everyone. Oneshot.


Therapist: Why are you here?

Percy: Because we got arrested, the police thought we were nuts, and made us.

Therapist: I see. Please say your your name clearly.

Percy: Perceus Adam Jackson

Therapist: Perceus?

Percy: That's what I said isn't it. Call me Percy though.

Therapist: So Peter...

Percy: *facepalm*

* * *

Therapist: Please state your name loud and clear.

Annabeth: My name is Annabeth Amelia Chase.

Therapist: Thank you. Now it says in your records that your father is a very successful man. What about your mother?

Annabeth: Is that any of your business?

Therapist: What's your mother's name?

Annabeth: Will you believe me?

Therapist: Of course.

Annabeth: Athena.

Therapist: What's her last name.

Annabeth: She doesn't have one. She is the greek goddess Athena.

Therapist: Annabeth lying will not get you anywhere.

* * *

Therapist: Hello Nico.

Nico: Hello stupid therapist lady person. Will you die?

Therapist: Why ask that question?

Nico: So I can meet you in the Underworld and feed you to Cerberus.

* * *

Therapist: So please tell me what happened.

Thalia: Well Percy, Annabeth, Nico, Grover and I were walking when we saw Luke. We all hate him so we attacked him.

Therapist: Why would you attack him?

Thalia: Because he's a lieing back-stabbing traitor son of a...nevermind. I'm gonna have Artemis turn him into a freaking antelope. Oh and then there were those other crimes we committed. Those were fun.

* * *

Therapist: Please state your name.

Grover: Grover Underwood.

Therapist: Slower. *holds tape recorder closer to Grover's mouth* And don't mumble this time.

Grover: Grove. R. Under. Wood.

Therapist: Grove under a wood?

Grover: GROVER UNDERWOOD!

Therapist: Grover where are you going?

Grover: *walks over to window, opens it, and shouts* Die! Stupid, polluting, evil, gross, un-earthly, disgusting human thing! Die! *walks over to therapist and sits down* Do you have a can?

* * *

Therapist: Your a smart girl Annabeth.

Annabeth: I know that.

Therapist: Then you know what you did was wrong.

Annabeth: What was wrong. Nothing I do is wrong.

Therapist: You and your friends stole 5,000 dollars from a bank!

Annabeth: We didn't get caught. We did it right.

* * *

Therapist: What did they say to you... uh?

Luke: Lucas Skye Castellan.

Therapist: So you and Percy, Nico, Annabeth, Thalia and Grover were all in a fight, correct? Quite a nasty one, I believe.

Luke: Yes, yes we were. It was awesome, and if the cops wouldn't have come along I would have won.

Therapist: Would you mind telling me the weapons everyone used?

Luke: I used my most awesome, super fantabulous, most amazingest BackBiter. Percy used his most suckiest, lame Riptide and of course he had two bottles of water. Annabeth had her dagger, WHICH SHE STOLE FROM ME! Not really but it makes her sound more evil, WHICH SHE IS! Nico has his sword, I don't think it has a name...poor nameless sword...Nico's so mean! And then Thalia has her stupid little arrows. Man, I hate her!

*Thunder and boominess!*

Luke: I'm talkin here Zeus! Anyways, Grover has his reed pipes.

Therapist: Reed pipes?

Luke: Yes. Quite evil actually. He can play one little tune and BAM! Your swallowed up in a cacoon of weeds.

* * *

Therapist: So Nico. How are you?

Nico: Well I'm talking to you now so pretty bad.

Therapist: Well I'm sorry about that... Nico I consider us friends.

Nico: Me too.

Therapist: Really?

Nico: No.

* * *

Therapist: So Luke told me that you fight with a Riptide and two bottles of water.

Percy: *pulls water bottles out of his pockets and holds it in the therapist's face* BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID!

Therapist: Alrighty then. Percy do you have anyone in your life?

Percy: Well there's my mom. And then everyone at camp. I have a lot of people in my life.

Therapist: I mean love life.

Percy: I'm 12.

Therapist: Well you can still have crushes.

Percy: Well there is Annabeth. But I don't know...

Therapist: I see.

* * *

Therapist: Annabeth, your a pretty girl.

Annabeth: So?

Therapist: So you must have someone.

Annabeth: Well there is P-no one. I have no one.

Therapist: Were you about to say Percy? The boy you committed all the crimes with?

Annabeth: Well yes. I suppose. Wait why am I telling you all this?

Therapist: Because you trust me...

Annabeth: Ha! Ha ha! Yeah right.

Therapist: Well, if it means anything, I think Percy likes you.

Annabeth: Really? That's amazing! I'm so-*cough cough* cool. Good for him.

* * *

Therapist: Hello Grover.

Grover: Uh...hi.

Therapist: Are you alright? Your twitching. It's making me uncorfortable.

Grover: Am I not allowed to twitch?

Therapist: Say you weren't...would you stop?

Grover: Yes.

Therapist: You are not allowed to twitch. It's illegal.

Grover: Okay. *keeps twitching*

* * *

Thalia: When can we leave?

Therapist: Whenever the police feel neccesary.

Thalia: And when will that be?

Therapist: Whenever you kids cooperate.

Thalia: And when will that be?


End file.
